It is 3 a.m. and you are awake again. The house is silent, your mind is not, and you can already feel tomorrow being long. A run of bad nights is miserable, and almost everyone has one now and then.
This article is about getting through a rough patch kindly. It offers small, calm things you can do, and it is plain about the point where food and habits are not enough and a doctor should be involved. It does not promise a fix.
What a rough patch looks like
A rough patch may follow stress, travel, illness, a new baby, a move, a noisy summer or a long stretch of late nights. Sometimes there is a clear cause. Sometimes there is not.
You might fall asleep fine and wake at 3 a.m. You might lie awake for an hour. You might sleep, but wake unrefreshed. These are all common, and all are worth treating gently.
Short spells are part of ordinary life. What matters is how you meet them. Panic and clock-watching tend to make it worse, while calm and routine tend to help.
What is known and what is folklore
It is widely agreed that regular sleep and wake times, daylight in the morning, a calm evening and a comfortable room all support sleep. It is also widely agreed that caffeine late in the day and alcohol close to bed can disturb it.
Folklore says a special tea, a pinch of a spice or a certain food will do the job. These can be comforting, and comfort matters, but they are not a treatment. We cannot promise that anything will bring sleep back on a given night.
A common myth is that you must have eight hours or the day is ruined. Needs differ from person to person, and one short night will not wreck you. Be kind to yourself and keep going.
What to do in the night
If you are awake and not drifting off, avoid staring at the clock. Many people find it makes the worry louder.
Instead, try this. Stay still and breathe slowly for a few minutes. If you are still wide awake after what feels like twenty minutes, get up. Sit in low light with something quiet, like a paper book or a warm drink, and go back when you feel heavy-eyed.
Do not pick up a bright screen or start on email. The aim is to keep the night dim and dull.
What to do in the day
Daytime habits carry the load. Wake at the same time, even after a bad night, and get outside for a few minutes. See morning light and a slow breakfast for an easy way to do it.
Try to keep naps short and early, or skip them if they make nights harder. Move your body gently, perhaps with a short walk after supper. Cut caffeine after midday if you notice it lingers.
Evenings should be calm. A lighter, earlier supper, as in an earlier supper for calmer evenings, and a quiet hour before bed, as in a wind-down hour that is not a chore, give you a better chance of a settled night.
Common mistakes
The first mistake is trying too hard. Sleep does not come by effort, and forcing it can make you more alert.
The second is changing everything at once. Pick two or three habits and stay with them for a couple of weeks.
The third is leaning on alcohol or on sleep aids without advice. Alcohol can make the night lighter and more broken, and medicines should be discussed with a doctor or pharmacist.
The fourth is going it alone for too long. If it keeps up, talk to someone.
When to see a doctor
Please talk to a doctor if poor sleep goes on for several weeks, or if it hurts your daily life. Seek help sooner if you notice loud snoring, gasping or pauses in your breathing, if you fall asleep at risky times such as driving, if you feel very low or anxious, or if pain, restless legs or heartburn keep waking you.
A doctor can look at the whole picture, including stress, health conditions and medicines, in a way no article can.
A kind supper for a rough week
When you are tired, you do not want a project. Make something warm and plain that you can eat with a spoon.
Make this today
Tired-Night Rice and Egg Bowl
15 min
You need
- 1 cup cooked rice, warm
- 1 tablespoon butter or olive oil
- 1 cup chopped spinach or other greens
- 1 or 2 eggs
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- Black pepper
- A squeeze of lemon
Method
- Step 1: Warm the butter in a small pan over medium heat.
- Step 2: Add the greens and a pinch of salt. Cook for 2 minutes until soft.
- Step 3: Push the greens aside and fry or scramble the egg until set.
- Step 4: Spoon the rice into a bowl and top with the greens and egg.
- Step 5: Add pepper and a squeeze of lemon, and eat it slowly at the table.
Keep going
Bad nights pass more often than not, and a gentle routine helps you ride them out. Keep your mornings bright, your evenings calm, and your expectations kind. For the bigger picture, read sleep and the seasons and a bedroom that feels a little like the country.
Asked over the fence